the sickest of loves
by Tatitatianna
Summary: She knows its wrong, but she can't find the capacity to care. This world is cruel, being a kunoichi she knows and embraces that. But when she lays in his arms.. the guilt that plucks at her heart wars with her conscience.. He is her drug, her escape from reailty... SasuSaku .


Disclaimer : i do not own any of the characters in this story !

Sometimes in life , you have to stand back from the presumption that those who are born and bred to protect us are expendable. Sometimes you have to realize that you arent indistrcutable, a hard epiphany Im sure. But even more so , I believe that this realization .. this mantra , is what makes a great ninja. We may be infanetely strong , wise , determined ... but inside we're all human , or ... we used to be.

I leaned heavily against the wall of my shower stall , my hands resting on the cool tiles as the scalding hot water soaked my wound tattered skin. I stared down at the red coloured water that was draining at my bruised feet. Just another mission, just another brush with death. One more enemy down, one more casulty on my shoulders. Not an important one, a civilian that got in the cross fire and caught a kunai in the jugular. But it wasnt a shinobi from the village hidden in the leaves .. so why do I care so much? I can say what I want about shinobi having the capacity to lock their feelings deep inside themselves and not so much as twitch when questioned about it. So why wouldn't it leave my mind?

I sighed heavily, and turned the shower off. As I stepped out of the shower I shivered, the stale air was cool against my over heated skin, raising goosebumps across my body. I inhaled the cooler air happily, though it wasn't entirely fresh it still cleared my mind. I shook out my hair, and grabbed a towel off the nearby rack. I roughly dragged it through my long pink locks, pulling out the moisture impatiently. I wrapped another towl around my small body and exited the bathroom.

"Took you long enough ...Sakura." A deep voice almost whispered.

I came to a complete stop. My body reacting in shock, stiffeniny entirely as my ears recognized the sultry baritone that wrapped my name in a sweet caress.

"Were you waiting long my love? " I whispered, I knew he wouldn't hide from me when I said those words.

Large warm hands made contact with my still damp skin. Strong, sturdy arms wrapped me in atight embrace. His warm body melted against mine in a pattern that was long perfected. I sighed and leant against him. I felt his lips touch my forhead.

"I've missed you." I whisper against the skin of his neck.

His right hand trails up my arm softly, stopping at my collar bone to gently wrap around the back of my head. He tilts my head back, exposing my face to his. His dark eyes are so deep, so smoldering I catch my breath. His perfect porceline face shows no blemish, not even the hint that this man is a shinobi. I inhale his intoxicating scent, and I feel my eyes roll into the back of my head.

This man is the love of my life, the one thing I had yearned for since I was a little girl. I had fallen in love at 8, and I still hadnt secured him. I vowed to myself that on my 21 birthday, if he wasnt mine by then, I would give up. Unfortunately ... I just turned 19 .

"Sakura... say it." He whispered seductively in my ear , efficiently breaking my train of thought.

I feel a shiver run down my spine, and my heart starts beating erratically. I whimper in his grasp.

"Say it." His beautiful voice commands with assured authority.

I stare up at him, my eyes begging him. He stared down at me firmly, his eyes finding the ability to trap me where I stood.

"I love you ... Sasuke-kun." I whisper the words he wants to hear.

His mouth crashes down on mine, his hands claim my body as he pulls me into him. He is everywhere, all around me. His scent, his lips, his touch .. they send me into a frenzy. I moan his name over and over, and yet all he has done is touch me. I press against him, I arch my back, I submit to him. And all it took him was 1 sentence.

"Im going to make you scream that for me, Im going to love you the way I want." He breathes into my ear.

I know this is wrong. Sasuke is a killer, he's a traitor, hes a criminal .. he's on my hitlist. And yet.. He's the bravest man I've ever known, hes the air I breath, and the moon that lights my darkest nights. But it is what it is, and love isn't anything that could be explained. At least not rationally.

And after he's gone, I'll see the reason I question myself as a shinobi, I'll see why every innocent death plays with my heartstrings. Because lets be honest, I make love to a man who once destroyed everything I had, and my own heart cannot find a reason to think its a bad thing. This coupled with the fact that I would do anything to never lose this experiece, yes, this is the reason I question myself.

After we lay there, tangled up in blankets and skin. His arms are around my tiny body, his hands resting on my curves. My head is on his chest, and I listen to the steady beat ... of a heart that I hope beats for only me.

"..Sakura..." My eyes shift to his peaceful sleeping face , basking in the sensual moonlight that pours through the sliding glass doors of my room. " I love you ..."

I close my own traitorous eyes, the ones that will look the world in the eyes tomorrow, the ones that will lie with everything they have. I close them, and my heart, and let myself succumb to the numbness of a shinobi's dreamless sleep.

End.

Hey :] so what did you think? Honestly when I was writing this I wasn't thinking at all about where I wanted to take it , or what I wanted to happen. I just let it flow :] So let me know watcha thinkkkk.


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